Germany 🇩🇪 Oktoberfest on Viagra

It's all happening on Sylt, where they are "Ready, Willing and Able" (1971).

In honour of October we are celebrating with a cinematic Oktoberfest of German nudity and naughtiness with no less than 15 films from the 1960s and 70s. We split them up into different categories, but you can enjoy them any way you like.

The Kronhausens x 2:

“What happened to the good old-fashioned German morals?”; a narrator asks during the opening credits to the strains of good old-fashioned krautrock. “No other country in the world goes about their enlightenment on sex so religiously, and dogmatically, and thoroughly as the Germans!” Sexologists Dr Eberhard and Dr Phyllis Kronhausen are Germany's 'white coaters' that give education respectability to scenes of sex and smut in two films: "Freedom to Love" (1969) looks at lesbianism, illegal abortion, swing clubs and interviews Playboy publisher Hugh Hefner, and erotic artist Betty Dodson; while "Sex Freedom in Germany" (1970) also features pornographers Owalt Kolle and Beate Uhse, as well as a political party called The Sexual Democrats, all dubbed into Liverpool-sounding English.

The Sylt Connection x 2

The German North Sea island of Sylt as a film subject is basically an excuse for lots of nakedness. "Naked and Free" (1971) is about a boring man visiting the nudist paradise Sylt, who is taunted by the free-spirited ‘groovy bunch’ there as a hopeless square, but manages to hook up with a young blonde. It not only includes naked Fräulines, but also spliced inserts of Jake La Motta and Rocky Graziano! "Ready, Willing & Able" (1971) is about a Miss Sylt contest (clothing not required) at the Eden Playboy Club. Imagine the old Frankie Avalon-Annette Funicello beach pictures, only with boobies. Lots of bobbies. The catchy soundtrack stays on longer than the film!

They sure are... "Naked and Free" (1971)

Costume films x 3

Historic and literary settings were a great excuse for boobies on display. "How to Play the Seduction Game" (1970) is a historic sex comedy loosely based on Werner Zibaso’s French classic. "Teach Me" (1972) is a series of erotic vignettes about the sexploits of Lieutenant Ferdinand, starring gorgeous German softcore favourite Christine Schuberth and Astrid Boner [sic!] It has a weirdly contemporary poster and international titles such as "Ferdinand - tjuren som inte ville" (Sweden) and "The Games Schoolgirls Play" (USA).

In "The Sinful Bed" (1973) we hear from the bed about the romping it has experienced over the ages, as it is being rolled through the village by a young couple. (A good double bill with Mac Ahlberg's "The Bed" (1965).) And if you think the film looks exceptionally good, you’d be right, thanks to the lush cinematography by Michael Ballhaus (under the pseudonym of Michael Alexander), before he started working with Scorsese.

Frau Wirtin catches her Count - in bed! "Frau Wirtin hat auch einen Grafen" (1968)

The Sweden Connection x 3

Three films that have a Swedish link: "Daughters of Joy" (1968) is a period piece (of ass) in the 'Sexy Susan' (Frau Wirtin) series with Teri Tordai in the lead and also starring Harald Leipnitz from Swedish sex comedy "Do You Believe in Swedish Sin?" (1970). "Moonlighting Mistress" (1971) is the strangely translated title of the German original "I Slept with My Murderess". A man plans to kill his wealthy wife for her money, so he can be with his beautiful young mistress. However, things don’t turn out as he had planned. “A pop-colored German-French co-production predating the flood of erotic thrillers that would invade cable TV 10 years later,” where Harald L. once again pops up.

"The Erotic Adventures of Hansel and Gretel" (1970) had punny international titles such as "Hans og Grete i den forsexede skov" (Denmark), "Hands off Gretel!" (UK), "The Naked Wytche" (USA) and weird one like "Gymni se mia Rolls Royce" (Greece) and "Favole calde... per svedesi bollenti" (Italy), even though nothing Swedish about the sexy Grimm fairytale. But it does star Sweden’s Barbro Klingered (aka Barbara Klingered/Barbara Scott), who was also in “Jag vill ligga med din älskare mamma/Swedish Confessions” (1977) on Cultpix. And Boarne Vibenius’ notorious “Breaking Point” (opened in 1975 this month). She was a gorgeous and talented adult actress and model, but died only 49 years old in a car accident. She’s kind of a mystery.

There is no cookie trail that leads to her - "The Erotic Adventures of Hansel and Gretel" (1970)

Others

Then we have a mixed bag of other German smut that we could not find a common denominator for:

"The Love Keys" (1971) - Comparably, The Love Keys is actually a pretty good European sex comedy. Young Rosy dupes horny older men to get money. One of them is the Secretary of State, who’s about to give her father a promotion, and soon to pay her parents a visit. A ridiculous bedroom farce ensues....Top billed Horts Tappet also appeared in Jess Franco’s The Devil Came from Akasava.

"Massage Parlor '73" (1972) - Sleazy massage parlor movie with a touch of class. The rub-down enthusiast Paul searches for Sonia, the high class masseuse who left an indelible impression on him. Actress Elizabeth Volkmann also appeared in Love Bavarian Style. She later became the German voice of cartoon character Marge Simpson! What a legacy.

"Office Girls" (1972) - “Sex report” style film, asking the question “Is sex at work a real problem?” A company department boss must defend himself against charges of workplace harassment in court. Looking back, he describes his tough day-to-day work to the judge. Full of staged vignettes and fake street interviews. Here it seems, sex-crazed secretaries are the chief problem.

"Run, Virgin, Run" (1973)

"Run Virgin Run" (1973) - Lederhosen and lusty ladies in a German mountain village, where the horny wives are being serviced and impregnated by the local, hunky blacksmith. But a ravishing virgin redhead arrives to town, and devices a plan to keep him for herself. Described as “Oktoberfest on Viagra”!

"All Around Service" (1974) - German sex comedy, where Frank and Fred have a two-man maintenance company taking care of the needs of a large apartment complex, including those of the frustrated housewives in the building. But a current and an ex-girlfriend put a stop to the shenanigans with a letter to the husbands! Funky soundtrack and raunchy sex scenes for its time. A German sex comedy in a similar vein to the English “Confessions of...” series.

Write to us if you can think of a common denominator, other than being vintage Krautsmut.

German filing system - "Office Girls" (1972).